Texting while driving

Let me tell you about a firm belief that I hold. I believe that most teenage girls cannot drive. It doesn't have anything to do with the sex of the person. It's just girls are more prone to text whist driving than guys. Allow me to tell you a story! The other day (you know the day that isn't this one.) I rode with a lovely, young lady. (Well, relatively young.) At first what i thought was an innocent car ride quickly turned into a nightmare coaster of terror. Why? She tried texting. I asked her, "What could you possibly be telling your friend thats urgency is of higher value than my life?!"

And then her skin turned pale as her head twisted 360 degrees around. You could hear her spine snap! Her cute smile had become a razor sharp array of hook like teeth! (Sort of like a lawn mower.) "I'm telling her about this cute dress I have," slid through the rotten holes in her teeth along with some blood.


Man, last time I ride with the girl from The Exorcist.

I really don't really know how to comment on this ...

Pft. Guys aren't smart enough to text while driving! It's like an intellectual overload.

cant make a comment on this.

I never said Russians are better at texting then Americans. I said guys aren't smart enought to text while driving, that means Russian and American guys!

You see, I lured you in under the false pretense that I was sexist, and suddenly I pull the rug out from under your feet by revealing that I'm riding with with a monster!